When we moved to Colorado almost four years ago, I assumed the school process would be different—but I didn’t realize how steep the learning curve would be as a parent navigating special education for the first time here.
I’m sharing this because I needed someone to say it plainly to me: the IEP process can feel confusing, inconsistent, and wildly under-explained—especially when you’re new to the state. And if you’re a parent trying to make sense of it all while also parenting an autistic child, it can feel like you’re expected to become an expert overnight.
This is my real experience. Not as a therapist. Not as a lawyer. Just as a mom advocating the best way I know how.
In this post, I’ll share:
- What shocked me about my son’s first IEP (and why I requested another evaluation)
- What “LRE” actually means—and why it can get confusing fast
- The parent tool I didn’t know I had: Prior Written Notice
- What to ask on school tours (push-in vs pull-out services + what to look for)
- Why building a team (advocate + school consultant) changed everything
- Start here if your IEP doesn’t match your child
Resumen en Español (versión corta)
Mudarnos a Colorado me hizo aprender el proceso del IEP desde cero—y fue abrumador. En nuestro primer IEP, los servicios no reflejaban las necesidades reales de mi hijo, y salí con más preguntas que respuestas. También me preocupó cómo se hablaba del “LRE” (Least Restrictive Environment) como meta, sin asegurar suficientes apoyos dentro del salón.
Si estás en esta etapa, no estás sola. Tienes derecho a pedir datos, pedir explicaciones por escrito (como Prior Written Notice), y armar tu equipo: una defensora/advocate del IEP y un/a consultor/a de escuelas puede cambiarlo todo. La inclusión puede ser hermosa cuando se hace bien—pero “menos restrictivo” no significa “menos apoyo.”
¿Quieres la versión completa en español? La estoy preparando. Suscríbete abajo y te la envío cuando esté lista.
Start here if your IEP doesn’t match your child
If you’re reading this because something feels “off,” here’s what I wish I had done right away—simple steps that create clarity fast:
- Ask for the evaluation reports in writing before the meeting (so you can process without pressure).
- Ask: “What data supports these service minutes?” (not opinions—data).
- Ask: “What supports are built into the classroom daily?” (not just “available if needed”).
- If they refuse a service you believe your child needs, ask for Prior Written Notice (explained below).
- Before you leave the meeting, request a reconvene date so you’re not stuck waiting months if things aren’t working.
You are not being difficult. You are being prepared.
My first Colorado IEP left me alarmed
My son has been at an autism center for about two years—an environment that is therapy-based and highly structured around support. So when I got his first IEP in Colorado, I expected to see his needs reflected clearly: speech, OT, and the kind of supports that help him actually function in a school day.
Instead, what I saw didn’t match what I knew about my child.
There was very little speech, OT was minimal, and there was no ABA included. And what shook me most wasn’t even the lack of services—it was the lack of explanation. No one sat down and said:
“Here’s why we’re recommending this level of support.”
- “Here’s how we determined these service minutes.”
- “Here’s what will happen if he struggles.”
- “Here’s how we’ll adjust if this isn’t enough.”
I left that meeting feeling like I was missing something… or like they were.
So I requested another evaluation… and I got the same result
Because I was so concerned, I requested another IEP evaluation. I truly thought, “Maybe the first one just didn’t capture him well.”
But to my surprise, the second time came back with essentially the same message—especially around placement.
The plan leaned heavily toward a least restrictive environment recommendation (LRE- 1) and a goal for him to spend more than 80% of his time in a general education classroom.
Let me be very clear: I am not saying my child isn’t smart. I’m not saying he shouldn’t be learning alongside neurotypical peers. I’m not saying inclusion is bad.
What I am saying is this:
How does it make sense to move a child from:
a setting that is 100% therapy-based, to a setting that is school-driven, full of new expectations…
…and expect them to be successful without enough embedded support services?
Because it’s not just academics.
It’s the transitions.
It’s the sensory load.
It’s the noise.
It’s the new people.
It’s the routines.
It’s the pacing.
It’s the demands.
It’s the communication expectations—every minute of every day.
That’s a radical shift.
And if your child needs support to communicate, regulate, transition, and participate… then the environment matters just as much as the placement label.
What I wanted was a bridge plan—not a cliff.
One thing I wish someone explained: services vs accommodations vs placement
A huge part of why parents leave IEP meetings overwhelmed is because these terms get blended together. They’re not the same:
- Services: direct support like speech therapy minutes, OT minutes, specialized instruction, etc.
- Accommodations: supports that help your child access learning (visual schedules, breaks, sensory tools, reduced workload, preferential seating, etc.).
- Placement / LRE: where services happen and what environment your child spends the day in (general education vs more specialized settings).
A child can be “included” on paper and still not have the services/supports to actually participate.
What LRE actually means (and why it gets confusing fast)
LRE stands for “Least Restrictive Environment.” It’s the idea that a child with a disability should learn in an environment that is as close as possible to a typical setting, with appropriate supports.
In plain language: the “least restrictive” environment is one where your child is expected to engage more with settings that aren’t “restricted” to special education only—like spending more time in a general education classroom versus a more specialized setting.
In theory, this can be a beautiful goal.
In practice, it can get confusing when LRE starts to feel like the priority over services and supports.
Because here’s the truth:
Least restrictive does not mean least supported.
LRE should never be treated like a finish line.
It should be a thoughtful decision based on what your child needs to access learning—with appropriate supports.
Inclusion can be beautiful when it’s done well.
But inclusion without enough support can become:
- overwhelm
- shutdown
- behavior misunderstandings
- constant calls home
- and a child feeling like they’re “failing” when the system simply didn’t set them up to succeed
And that’s not acceptable.
Prior Written Notice (PWN): the parent tool I didn’t know I had
This is one of the most important things I learned.
Prior Written Notice is a written explanation the school provides when they propose or refuse a change to services, placement, or evaluation. It forces clarity and creates documentation.
If something doesn’t make sense, you can say:
“Please provide Prior Written Notice for that decision.”
It helps you understand the “why,” and it helps you avoid leaving meetings with vague answers that you can’t track later.
My IEP red flags (mom-to-mom)
If you’re not sure whether your concerns are “valid,” here are the red flags that stood out to me:
- Service minutes don’t match your child’s real needs and no one can clearly explain why
- “He’s doing fine” without showing data or progress monitoring
- LRE is discussed like a goal before supports/services are discussed
- Pull-out services are mentioned, but no one can explain where, how often, or what the space looks like
- There’s no plan to support the transition from a therapy-based environment to a school day
- You leave feeling confused, rushed, or pressured to agree
Trust your instincts. If something feels unclear, ask for clarity.
What helped me: getting support for myself as an advocate
I eventually realized something that a lot of parents learn the hard way:
The IEP process is not designed to be easy to navigate as a parent.
The system often assumes you know your rights, the terminology, the timelines, and how to push back—politely but firmly.
I didn’t.
So here’s what I recommend from lived experience:
1) Work closely with your case manager (RMHS)
If you have support through Rocky Mountain Human Services (RMHS), talk to your case manager about what resources may be available.
2) Ask about funding for an IEP advocate
An advocate can help you:
- understand what the IEP language really means
- ask the right questions in meetings
- request clarifications and documentation
- communicate with the school effectively
- keep everything aligned with your child’s actual needs
- make sure you understand your rights without you having to “Google your way” through the process
You shouldn’t have to walk into meetings feeling outmatched.
3) Ask about a school consultant to help with placement + tours
This was a big one for me.
A school search consultant can recommend schools that may be a better fit—but here’s the most important part:
Use the consultant after you have the IEP results (or at least a clear needs profile), not before.
Because the best guidance comes when it’s tied to real data and real needs.
And when you’re touring schools, ask very specific questions about how services are delivered. Some schools rely heavily on pull-out services (your child is pulled out of the classroom for speech or OT). Others offer more push-in support (services delivered inside the classroom). Many do a combination—it depends on the school.
But you deserve to understand the real day-to-day:
- How much time will my child actually spend in the classroom?
- When my child is pulled out, are they alone in another space or with peers?
- What does the pull-out space look like?
- Is it welcoming and learning-focused (colorful visuals, materials, calm sensory tools)?
- Or is it a bare room with a couple chairs and windows—nothing that says “children learn here”?
Because honestly? That tells you a lot.
It reflects what the school considers important. It reflects whether they invest in environments that support our kids—not just in policy language, but in real life.
For example, if your child needs significantly more special education support and services (some families refer to this as a higher-support LRE level like “LRE 3”), then your school options, classroom models, and support structures should match that.
Then you tour with a purpose:
- Do they have embedded services?
- How do they support transitions?
- What does inclusion actually look like here?
- Who delivers speech/OT and when?
- How do they respond when a child is dysregulated?
- What’s the staff-to-student ratio in practice?
That’s how you avoid touring schools that look great on paper but aren’t built for your child.
What I would do differently next time
If I could go back to that first meeting, here’s what I’d change:
- I would bring an advocate sooner (even if just to listen and take notes).
- I would ask for all reports ahead of time and highlight what didn’t match my child.
- I would walk in with 5 written questions so I didn’t get overwhelmed in the moment.
- I would ask for Prior Written Notice anytime something major was denied or brushed off.
- I would request a reconvene date before leaving instead of waiting for things to “prove” they weren’t working.
What I wish someone told me early on
If you’re new to Colorado—or new to IEPs in general—please hear this:
You are allowed to ask “Why?”
- You are allowed to request more explanation.
- You are allowed to disagree respectfully.
- You are allowed to ask for supports that match your child’s needs.
- You are not “difficult” for advocating.
And most importantly:
The public school system is not automatically set up to serve kids with special needs well.
There are incredible educators—truly.
But the system is stretched, under-resourced, and often built around what’s easiest to implement, not what’s individualized.
So if you feel like your child’s needs aren’t being fully seen on paper, don’t ignore that instinct.
You know your child.
If you’re in this stage right now…
If you’re reading this because you’re confused, worried, or second-guessing yourself after an IEP meeting—please know you’re not alone.
This process can be overwhelming. But you can build your team. You can learn the language. You can ask for help. You can find the right school fit.
And you can do it without apologizing for wanting your child supported.
Quick note: This is not legal advice—just what I learned as a parent navigating a complicated system. Your child’s plan should reflect their needs, not a template.
Want my free IEP Meeting Questions Checklist when it’s ready?
Head to the Contact page and enter your email—I’ll send it to you.
Prefer Instagram? DM me CHECKLIST @raisingspectrumlove.
If you want, I can also share the exact questions I bring to every IEP meeting and what I look for on school tours—mom-to-mom, no fluff.
